the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
