know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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