We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
