Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
