hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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