This show inspires me to have sex in space
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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