I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
