Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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