Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
