i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
