Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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