Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
