They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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