Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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