Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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