is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
