I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
