sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize