I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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