Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize