yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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