then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
