No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
