i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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