She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
