It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
