i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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