Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
