How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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