Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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