So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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