Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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