God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
