Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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