Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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