Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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