Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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