i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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