i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
