i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You know, be my cock's hype man.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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