Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
