All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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