So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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