she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
