I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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