It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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