I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
