I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize