I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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