Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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