i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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