She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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