I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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