Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
