didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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