Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize