Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
